Club Penguin Times issue #407

Check out this week's issue of the Club Penguin Times!

DESTROY THE DEATH STAR

Rebel Alliance takes final stand.

Message from Princess Cadence: Okay! We're almost there guys! Are u ready for this?! There's only one more thing ya gotta do! And if ur stealth enough to get those secret plans, u've got what it takes to destroy the DEATH STAR!

2 do this, u gotta travel to Yavin 4 and fly an X-wing. Flying a jet pack, or surfin' through the Mine is one thing. But flying an X-wing is a whole new challenge. Gotta focus! Keep your eye on the prize. Avoid laser blasts and take down TIE Fighters.

They'll be dropping like Stormtroopers before u know it! It's time to free Club Penguin and restore freedom 2 the galaxy. Remember, ur efforts will be rewarded. So, what are u waiting 4? Let's get the dark side outta here!

NEWSFLASH

The dark side is running for cover, so bust a space-worth dance move and order a Wookiee-sized pizza!

REBELS REWARDED

By a Space Reporter - Stormtroopers are clearing the dance floor and reports of intergalactic pizza eating contest are pouring in. Some brave heroes are already being rewarded with medals for their fight against the evil Empire. 

We caught up with one hero excited to share his account with us, "At one point, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. TIE fighters were coming at me from all sides!" he said. "I think I saw Darth Herbert in the Death Star ordering around some Stormtroopers." "Too bad for them we're about to send that evil Empire packin'!"

There you have it. It looks like we are one stop closer to restoring freedom to Club Penguin... AND the galaxy!

UPCOMING EVENTS

On now! Destroy the Death Star

Fly to Yavin 4, destroy the Death Star, and collect your medal.

Aug. 15 The Stage

It's your time to shine! Get to the Stage and solve the mystery of Ruby and the Ruby!

Aug. 15 Furniture Catalog

Get your igloo summer-ready and be prepared for sun, sand, and surf!

Find the collectible pin! Hidden now until August 21.

Next pin hidden: August 22 - September 4

I heard rumors of an evil Emperor. Are they true?

-M. Peror

Young Grasshopper, where there is one, there is often another. Perhaps an emperor with sharper claws than Darth Herbert rules over the dark side. Many believe that villainous bear simply enforces his evil will, and orders his pizza. The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

As the Snow Minions are controlled by Tusk, Darth Herbert may be controlled by another. Some say he has known Darth Herbert for many years. It is said the bear owes his life to him. Others say it is mere whispers in the wind. What do you believe?

What's a Wookiee like?

-Harry N. Tall

Like a large puffle, the Wookiee is a gentle creature. But don't let these shaggy beasts fool you. I was once in a small space craft with one. I did not understand him, but quickly learned to stay on his good side. They can be quite fierce when provoked, so be sure you laugh at their jokes. You will be grateful for their friendship if your craft breaks down.

Like ninjas, Wookiees are strong warriors and can pilot almost anything. It is a little known fact that Wookiees can swim like fish. (And it is wise to stay up wind, if you wish avoid the tench of wet Wookiee). Maybe one day, my student, you will get to know one as I did. If you do, learn from them all you can.

(Though good luck understanding them. They have the most unusual accent I've ever heard).

SECRETS

TIPS ON HOW TO DEFEAT TIE FIGHTERS

Here are some tips to help you pilot your X-wing: Use the down key to slow your aircraft and get behind TIE Fighters. Once they're in front, shoot them down by holding the space bar. If you go fast enough, you'll earn a speed bonus! Double tap the left or right arrow keys to do a barrel roll.

PEW! PEW!

JOKES

Q. Why did the penguin go to the moon?

A. Because he wanted some space!

-Allieteddy

Q. What's an astronauts favorite time of day?

A. How should we know? It's always dark in space!

-Piranha60000

Q. What did the alien say to the cat?

A. Take me to your litter!

-Sydni1

Q. What did the alien say to the plant?

A. Take me to your weeder!

-Glendolyn222

Q. Why did the astronaut turn off the lights?

A. Be wanted to travel as the speed of light!

-Anthony820

Q. What do aliens spread on their toast?

A. Mars-malade!

-Firefast3

Q. Why aren't noses 12 inches long?

A. Because they they'd be a foot!

-Agent Spyder