Club Penguin Times issue #389

Check out our latest issue of the Club Penguin Times.

HOT SAUCE HEIST

Hot sauce bottle stolen from the Pizza Parlor.

Pizza chefs were alarmed to find the giant bottle of hot sauce was stolen from the Pizza Parlor this week. Special agents are currently on the scene to investigate this mysterious case.

Whodunnit?

When chefs came in to make pizzas, they discovered the hot sauce bottle, normally above the pizza oven, was missing. The Pizza Parlor itself was a mess, with tables overturned, hot sauce splattered across the floor, and significant damage to the room. Citizens are asked to remain calm. Special agents are investigating this alarming disappearance and have everything under control.

Currently the Pizzatron 3000 is out of order due to the missing hot sauce. Citizens are advised to enjoy a fish dog or smoothie instead. If you have any information that may help solve this puzzling case, report it to the special agent at the scene.

NEWS FLASH

Pizza party at the Cove canceled due to shocking hot sauce robbery.

CONSTRUCTION WORK DELAYED

Repairs to the Everyday Phoning Facility on hold.

By Rookie - Hey guys! Repairs to the Everyday Phoning Facility are ON HOLD. Because the hot sauce is missing. Which is bad news. We need everyone to help out. Even the guy whose job it is to "hand me that thingamajig." Like me.

Without hot sauce, there's no pizza. Which is the WORST news. 'Cos my tummy is grumbling, and I've had tuna sandwiches for the last 17 days. But we'll get to work on construction as soon as possible. And the Everyday Phoning Facility will be better than ever! I saw the blueprints the other day and the hologram was SUPER cool. But they probably won't let me touch it. Wait... that might have been classified. Forget I said that.

Does this message self destruct? Or is the the kind I'm supposed to eat?

UPCOMING EVENTS

On now Penguin Style

Super fashions have hit the Clothes Shop. Who will you become?

On now The Stage

Will Squidzoid prevail? Or will Shadow Guy & Gamma Gal defend the city?

April 11 Igloo Furniture

Create your own general store or health care clinic, with this month's furniture.

Pizzatron 3000 - OUT OF ORDER!

Find the collectible pin! Hidden now until April 17

Next pin hidden: April 18 - May 1

ASK JET PACK GUY

Why do you wear a jet pack?

Level with me. Wouldn't YOU want to wear a jet pack? Tactically speaking, they're awesome. My jet pack allows me to the EPF's eye in the sky. I know this island like the back of my flipper. I can tell if a rock, polar bear, or crab is out of place.

What does your igloo look like?

Here's what I can tell you. One side's devoted to training. I keep my workout gear, night vision goggles, and tactical gadgets in an equipment closet. The other side is all business - mahogany desk, filing cabinet, and fish bowl. My fish, Flash, keeps me company while I write my jet pack memoirs.

What's the island's biggest threat?

Greatest threat? Herbert P. Bear. If there are any signs of him, report it to the EPF immediately. Protobot is also a concern. We believe he was deleted, but we can't be certain.

Think you got what it takes to be an elite agent?

What makes an expert EPF agent?

If there's one thing I've learned, it's you can never be too prepared. If you're not, you might end up frozen in a tube. That can happen. Keep up island security and surveillance by playing System Defender. And when there's a crisis, like a hot sauce robber, step up to the challenge. If something looks suspicious, check it out. Look out for clues that others might miss. You'll be rewarded.

And maybe most importantly, know what skills you bring to the squad. Recruit other agents who have a talent you don't. I don't speak crab, but I've got a guy for that. We've got to work together to keep the island safe. An expert EPF agent knows his duty.

SECRETS

ELITE PENGUIN FORCE

Want to help protect Club Penguin? Are you brave in the face of extreme danger? Do you look good in a suit? Well then, head to the Everyday Phoning Facility to answer the call. Successfully hit the target and you're on your way to become the best of the best. Be resourceful. Be remarkable. Be ready.

JOKES

Q. What did the fish say to the shark?

A. Please don't eat me, I'm finnocent!

-Letto34

Q. How do you cut the sea in half?

A. With a sea-saw!

-Nayra2004

Q. What do you call a bear with no ear?

A. B!

-Hellllllloo

Q. What do you call a mouse as big as an elephant?

A. Enor-mouse!

-Schoudhury 1

Q. What can't we go in room no17?

A. Because there's a lion in there!

-Tara3149

Q. What washes up on every small beach?

A. Micro-waves!

-Mammacute

Q. How do fish go into business?

Q. They start on a small scale!

-Famous Five